Monday, December 08, 2003

Round eye like sugar

Dec 08, 2003

Ok, today was funny.

Today, at about 11 am, my boss comes in andtells me that he wants all of us (just me, him, and 3 others) to get the flu shot. he's concerned that this year is a serious strain and he doesn't want us missing to much. I at first don't want to go, because the last one made me sick, but what the hell, everyone else is going.

So we head out to the federal courts in brooklyn, where USPHS has an office. So we park, walk all over camden plaza and keep missing the building. Finally we break down and ask a cop. we get there at last. It's closed for lunch. we waited too long to get there. Ok. No problem, we'll go for lunch. Mike says, "Hey, lets go to chinatown and get some real chinese food. It's just over the bridge", pointing to the Manhatten bridge.  John says "Yeah, I haven't had real chinese in a while." Ok, so we go.

Some would say this next part is my fault. Once over the Brooklyn Bridge, we go left, south. Apparently, that was a wrong move. We hit the westside highway, eventually passing ground zero. After a quick phonecall, we get some directions. We loop under the battery and head north on FDR. So after an hour and 20 minutes (the USPHS office is of course now open) we find chinatown but can't find a restaurant. Mike makes the comment that "On Long Island, anyplace with chinese writing is a restaurant. Here everything has writing. You walk into a place looking for food you find that it's a watch repair!"

After 15 minutes of searching, we pick a place Huo Lu's. Where is this? On Forsythe, right next to where we parked!!!. Anyway we order. No one speaks english but we make do with pointing and screaming. I got a #102, which was apparently Beef and Rice. Simple. We get the food, I pick up a salt shaker and start to shake salt on my food. The woman goes "OH! ummm.......soup soup!" I look at her, "What?" She just says "Oh no, soup!" then she looks at me, then to the plate, back to me, then the plate again. Back and forth. She's very agitated. So I look at her, my plate, the chopsticks, back to her, then the plate, and so on. It's a very odd situation. Peter says "Dude, I think you have to wait for the soup. You're pissing her off." Ok I think, maybe it's a cultural thing. I didn't order soup but maybe it comes with the order.

She's still looking at the food. I start to eat, and her eyes go wide. Finally she says, "No, sugar." and makes the shaking motion. I look at the salt shaker and I say "Salt?" "No," she goes "Sugar" Shit! I just ruined my lunch. But the shaker only had chinese marking on it. how the hell was I to know? I eat the beef anyway and it was fine. Not much sugar came out because the holes were too small. My thing is, how did she get sugar from soup? because they're both "S" words? I made the comment "Anyone know the word for 'Holy Christ, NO!'" That's all she needed to say.

Anyway, she goes back laughing and tells the cook. He comes out and they both watch me eat. I felt like a monkey in the zoo. I tell my buddy to start grooming me, picking lice out of my fur, it'll make the situation feel more natural.

Of Course it took us no more than 5 minutes to make it back to the courthouse, then an hour to the airport. What was meant to be a quick trip, back by 1230 ended up being a comedy of misadventures, and we didn't get back until 430. And now the shot's making me sick.

Son of a bitch!

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